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Helix Guardsman

by Eros Catheter

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of What Heroin In The 90s Must Have Felt Like, Cadaver, La Guerra Delle Forme, Medusa Configuration, Rhine Maidens In Cut Glass, Helix Guardsman, Lifeless / Loveless, and Boundaries Of Eden. , and , .

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1.
2.
It had been going on for hours and I was so tired I was defenceless against your demands Turns out it takes 6 hours of persistent screaming before I forget who I am And what I think is best for me My sense of self has always been fragile The dam broke and you flooded in Consuming the firing synapses in my brain with your violent wishes You hated that I had been capable of love before you I still think of that hatred now more than I think of you I wanted to cry but I was beyond feeling anything And tears wouldn't come But then you insisted on sex After all the screaming suddenly I was wanted I said no but you didn't care Arousal is unnecessary Manual stimulation is all it takes You reached down and elicited a response For so long now remembering it makes me sick You only stopped because I was finally able to cry Hysterics like a child You punished me for your own shortcomings In a vulgar and deceitful way You reached in and rearranged my will You said you wanted to see if I cared enough I hate that I did I hate that I forgave you It is easy to be a vessel for others and never for yourself But now the world will know [REDACTED] What's mine is yours What's mine is yours What's mine is yours The more you suffer the more they love you back Isn't that what we learned From the nuns in their habits And all our alcoholic mothers Absent fathers Puerile teachers Distant siblings [REDACTED]
3.
Here on the boundaries of Eden Is where I find you A rose in my garden I've covered the lamps Inked out the stars Applied pressure to the bite Here on the balconies of Egypt Is where I find you A vine in the dark A blight on the trees Here on the streets of Berlin Is where I find you A lamp screaming in a window A vase in am empty room Something inside is rotting It comes from afar The place where you don't see Feel your way along in the dark Find me in your garden Returning soldier Returning soldier Show me your true face Show me something truly unforgettable
4.
A single rose misplanted in your chest Reaching a hand Remember that the journey is forever inwards This body is a trap And I can't undo my birth I can't fix the crown on your head Your fingers trace my halo Undo me Smother me Press your lips to the water surface The stream bends to fit the arch of your face I wonder Who are you when you're not rehearsing yourself Who are you when the blinds are closed Oh to be wreathed in gasoline Blinded by corrosives Remember that the journey is forever inwards Remember that the path is dark Remember that none of us make it all the way Does it rain in hell Because it snows in your bedroom Skin caught in the sewing machine What a terrible arch we make What a terrible place this You and I have a coalition of need Before the Helix Guardsman Remember that the journey is forever inwards Remember the the path is dark Remember that none of us make it all the way

about

Recorded March 2019
Eros Catheter is Arson Matthews
All material by Arson Matthews
Opening sample on Track 1 from Videodrome by David Cronenbourg
Cover image from TOKI - A Weave In Time
Inside photo by Luke Ferrero

credits

released August 14, 2019

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Pressured Speech Prod London, UK

Existing on ambiguous terms since 2018

Independent label based in London dealing in experimental and noise.

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